This week, Julia’s 100 Word Challenge for Grown-Ups has the prompt “..is it me or are bells ringing?”
I thought immediately of Santa, but reckoned that may be too predictable..so here’s my take……
It was a glorious frost-crusted day. The sun’s rays cast spindly shadows on the ground as they wove through leafless branches.
Elijah rested at the edge of the garden, chuckling as his children scampered across the crisp ice-bejewelled grass.
Suddenly, Jacob, the oldest of Elijah’s three sons stopped in his tracks.
“Is it me, or are bells ringing?” Jacob whispered.
Startled, Elijah motioned for the children to stop play.
He listened.
The children cowered, twitching nervously.
Together they ran swiftly to the garden wall, squeezing through the tiny gap.
Thankful for the cat’s collar bell, Elijah’s mouse family escaped again.
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Gill's Blog 
This reads like a sweet chapter in a young children’s book.
Thanks for commenting 🙂
Loved the opening description and did not see the ending coming! Enjoyed this!
Thank you 🙂
Mice, cute! ‘scampered’ was a clue but thought it was a metaphor. I can see this illustrated for youngsters. 😀
Thanks Ventahl. It’d be a slim book 🙂
Fantastic twist. Really didn’t see the end coming at all – loved it!
Thanks 🙂 glad you did
Oh, I didn’t see that coming, and I loved it. I think it is funny that everyone seems to be avoiding the seasonal bells.
Lovely twist! Well-trained mouse children too!
Training by necessity 🙂 thankx
Thank you 🙂 I thought Santa would be done to death..guess everyone else thought the same!
This is lovely, Gill. Very child-friendly. You should certainly consider expending it into something more substantial.
Now there’s an idea Dughall. If ever I have the time… thank you 🙂
This was lovely and I also didn’t see the ending until they slipped through the fence. I don’t think you even need to say ‘Elijah’ s mouse family’ – the cat’s bell collar and their fear of it was sufficient.
Thank you. I wasn’t going to mention that they were mice..you’re right, it didn’t need to be there and it felt clumsy adding it. Glad you like it anyway 🙂
Hi Gill, I really like the way you’ve written this piece! The twist at the end works perfectly as well!
Glad you enjoyed it. Thanks 🙂
Loving your descriptive opening. This is worth expanding into a full story!
Thanks, I may consider it 🙂
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Delightful; made me remember the story of who was going to put the bell on the cat. Great piece.
Thank you, glad you enjoyed. I just googled and found the Aesop fable about belling the cat. I hadn’t realised it was the mice’s idea in the first place 😉
Excellent writing, loved the twist and didn’t see that coming. x
Thank you, glad you liked it 🙂
Oh I love it! I was expecting a few reindeer!! Just what I need to get me in the spirit of the season!!
I thought the challenge would be awash with reindeer 🙂 thanks
hahaha that was SWEET! A surprise ending, to be sure. Well done!
Thanks 🙂
Haha! That’s fantastic! Very inventive!
A great ending – very unexpected! A sweet ‘little’ family
Mine (better late than never) is at http://wp.me/p1cFoK-NY
Like everyone else, I didn’t expect the ending – the Bible names helped keep up the surprise. Also, I loved the beautiful description of the scenery.
I don’t understand why my comment is awaiting moderation – sorry!!!
I don’t know why either…sometimes they go straight on, sometimes they have to be approved. Thank you for your comment, I’m glad you enjoyed:)