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Fear of bells

This week, Julia’s 100 Word Challenge for Grown-Ups has the prompt “..is it me or are bells ringing?”
I thought immediately of Santa, but reckoned that may be too predictable..so here’s my take……

It was a glorious frost-crusted day. The sun’s rays cast spindly shadows on the ground as they wove through leafless branches.

Elijah rested at the edge of the garden, chuckling as his children scampered across the crisp ice-bejewelled grass.

Suddenly, Jacob, the oldest of Elijah’s three sons stopped in his tracks.

“Is it me, or are bells ringing?” Jacob whispered.

Startled, Elijah motioned for the children to stop play.

He listened.

The children cowered, twitching nervously.

Together they ran swiftly to the garden wall, squeezing through the tiny gap.

Thankful for the cat’s collar bell, Elijah’s mouse family escaped again.

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About gillsrandomramblings

Working in education as a Child and Family Wellbeing Manager where I hope to make a small difference to the lives of vulnerable children and their families. Mum to 3 wonderful grown up children, provider of food and shelter to 2 ungrateful cats. New to blogging and not sure I'll write anything of interest, but here goes anyway....:o)

34 responses »

  1. This reads like a sweet chapter in a young children’s book.

    Reply
  2. Loved the opening description and did not see the ending coming! Enjoyed this!

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  3. Mice, cute! ‘scampered’ was a clue but thought it was a metaphor. I can see this illustrated for youngsters. 😀

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  4. Fantastic twist. Really didn’t see the end coming at all – loved it!

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  5. Lisa Wields Words

    Oh, I didn’t see that coming, and I loved it. I think it is funny that everyone seems to be avoiding the seasonal bells.

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  6. Lovely twist! Well-trained mouse children too!

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  7. Thank you 🙂 I thought Santa would be done to death..guess everyone else thought the same!

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  8. This is lovely, Gill. Very child-friendly. You should certainly consider expending it into something more substantial.

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  9. This was lovely and I also didn’t see the ending until they slipped through the fence. I don’t think you even need to say ‘Elijah’ s mouse family’ – the cat’s bell collar and their fear of it was sufficient.

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  10. Hi Gill, I really like the way you’ve written this piece! The twist at the end works perfectly as well!

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  11. Loving your descriptive opening. This is worth expanding into a full story!

    Reply
  12. Pingback: Pride comes before a fall: 100 Word Challenge for Grown Ups Week #22 « Hurtled to 60 and Now Beyond…

  13. Delightful; made me remember the story of who was going to put the bell on the cat. Great piece.

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  14. Excellent writing, loved the twist and didn’t see that coming. x

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  15. Oh I love it! I was expecting a few reindeer!! Just what I need to get me in the spirit of the season!!

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  16. hahaha that was SWEET! A surprise ending, to be sure. Well done!

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  17. Haha! That’s fantastic! Very inventive!

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  18. A great ending – very unexpected! A sweet ‘little’ family

    Mine (better late than never) is at http://wp.me/p1cFoK-NY

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  19. DancingInTheRain

    Like everyone else, I didn’t expect the ending – the Bible names helped keep up the surprise. Also, I loved the beautiful description of the scenery.

    Reply

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